Shan's Crap (Shannon McEwen)

In the rather dull middle of the day
I sit and wonder where you've gone
Has all of your passion just withered away?

Where is the sunshine where we used to play?
Into the shadows our smiles have withdrawn
In the rather dull middle of the day

Have we forgotten so soon just what to say?
As your queen swiftly defeats my lowly pawn
Has all of your passion just withered away?

Light forces the honeyed moon to fade to grey
Sleepy fingers beckon with the curtains drawn
In the rather dull middle of the day

Is this cruel world sure to keep laughter at bay?
Or will the light in your eyes once again come on
Has all of your passion just withered away?

In our bed alone where we once lay
When were these lines between us drawn?
In the rather dull middle of the day
Has all of your passion just withered away?

My belly grows
Rests on percale, propped
Rows upon rows of pillows

With my growing love
And kung fu feet
Tiny fists beat my bladder

While you smile at me
Your hand rests
Just beneath my breasts

Already protective
A new life burgeoning
Rife with great expectations

I sit here as the fruit bubbles
Toils and troubles
Down in the stomach
That used to have such sense

And due to a stubborn fit
And hormones
Has decided to
Practice evacuation procedures
Over and over
And over again

Until the contents of every meal
Meets an ungainly end
Far too soon
In the toilet

From simple hair holder
To horrifying
Pen cannon
Where the bic never stood a chance
Against the kid
And the wall

Suddenly a rocket
Shoots as far to the ceiling
As a little arm can reach
Before it swoops, whirls, twirls
Hurtling toward the bathtub
A kamikaze plunge
With boy sound effects

A swift metamorphosis
Into a adventurous metal snowboarder
Riding an incredible
Frozen white wave
Skids across the arm of a mamma
Bumps an elbow
And flies through the air
Onto the counter

Where he solemnly closes
The little metal clip
Against the hard black plastic
And smiles one of those smiles
Just for me

Did I ask for too much?
When I threw those pennies in the well

Eyes looking too bright
To every star twinkling

With possible promises
Whispered into the ear of the man in the moon

Where he winked
And then waltzed away with the spoon

And the grim reminder of reality
Etched in my tears and two bloody fingerprints

Left on the bedroom door
As a reminder of the deadly sin of greed

In this dusk filled darkened room
I see beyond where shadows loom

On the desk a picture stands
Of my beloveds holding hand

Wandering back to that day
when our troubles faded away

Past the tears of salty tracks
brain and heart debate the facts

Life's reminder a fragile clasp
within my power outside my grasp

I made a wish upon a star
Up there where they say you are

I whispered a small insignificant prayer
Never meant to be answered in despair

Why then would you plant the tiny seed?
Then rip the roots that make me bleed

I've heard that you can do such great things
Why then could you not just pull some strings?

Life is a wondrous gift you have power to give
Why then did this one not deserve to live?

Has anyone ever told you it's not nice to take
What you already gave, leaving grief in your wake?

In the shaded corners of my psyche
A tiny filament
Seemingingly Insignificant
Long elapsed
Unravels little by little

Stains the space where it rests
With old blood
And even older reminiscences
A sluggish poisoning
From the heart  it used to inhabit

To the place now planted
Fed by constant disappointment
He so enthusiastically provides
And the question
Why should it matter?