This is not a Drill

I sit here as the fruit bubbles
Toils and troubles
Down in the stomach
That used to have such sense

And due to a stubborn fit
And hormones
Has decided to
Practice evacuation procedures
Over and over
And over again

Until the contents of every meal
Meets an ungainly end
Far too soon
In the toilet

1- Alcuin of York on Dec. 18 2007

"Down in the bubbling bowels, alone
a mockery of the ghosted bone,
the strangeness passing through the unknown"

I make Masefield turn in his grave, I'll bet!

Alcuin

2- Rene on Dec. 18 2007

I love the reality of this Shan! I just read a book of poetry by Sharon Olds for writing class and she wrote a lot of poems like this...reality, raw, and real.

----- Rene'

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

3- Leanne on Dec. 18 2007

I'd never noticed that your end looks particularly ungainly...

To increase impact you might actually like to get rid of "I sit here" at the start, and just launch straight into the fruit -- removing the I puts the focus on the action (and such wonderful action it is!)

I'm going to start saying "excuse me, I'm off to practise evacuation procedures".

4- Alcuin of York on Dec. 18 2007

Leanne:

You need to practice? After all these years you haven't got it down right? Or are you just trying to improve range & accuracy?

Alcuin

5- Derma Kaput on Dec. 18 2007

sigh. such a shitty poem (posted in "Shan's Crap" no less!) but I like it. great title too.

6- Derma Kaput on Dec. 19 2007

taking another look, I think I misread this evacuation - so ignore my crappy comments. I still love the title.