002 Bad Poetry - Shakespeare's Monkeys

002 Bad Poetry

Don't you hate the little beast when it behaves like this?

Bad, wicked poetry!

I loved you into being
I Nurtured you daily
I fed you images and ideas

I expected so much more of you.
You have raised me to the heights
You have drawn laughter from me
You have led me weeping to new understanding

But now you skulk,
insolent on the page.
You make ink into untidy scraws
You doodle aimlessly in the corner
of pristine sheets of paper

You will not parse
You will not scan
You will not do anything poetic at all.

Go.
I do not want to see your face
I do not want to hear your voice
I will not listen to more pallid excuses
Go think on your misdemenours

We will talk more of this
when your father gets home

Bad, bad poetry!
Go to your room this minute
and tidy up.

Bad, wicked poetry!

White_Feather -

Ha! Defiant poetry. I had to laugh, as I have a poem like this right now which I'm about to banish. Check spelling on heights(?) Who would the poem's father be?

Alcuin of York -
Very imaginative! Your analogy was consistent and executed with great humor. One oops: I think in the 2nd-to-last line you left out "this" (as in "this minute".
Alcuin

Shannon McEwen -
It should be "your" father,not "you" father. I love that line by the way, being a parent and hearing myself say that a time or two before.

I love the idea that poetry is in the naughty corner like an errant child.

One thing that I didn't like as much was the formality of some of the lines. WHen speaking to a child I would maybe puncuate some points, but maybe having some words more informal like "don't" instead of "do not"

Overall I like the poem and the concept.
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Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

Anstey -
I have 2000 beasts ike that

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stephan

Pags -

I see I need a proof reader! Odd how one can read and work on a piece and in the end simply fail to see the typos. So thank you all of you for fulfilling that role, and of course for reading.

Regarding formal and informal language, I think that discussion would be worthy of a whole new thread! I think (but may be wrong) that I vary the formality of how I speak even to a child. Moments of closeness merit close, informal, even personal family language. Moments like this of anger and 'telling off' are about distancing so I would tend to use the child's Sunday name (Philip rather than Phil for instance) and more formal language... In this particular instance I liked the repeated hard emphasis (punch?) of "You will not" whatever. But what do other readers think?