
First quick read: some really good images in here. I'm thinking about the uneven rhyme. I do like a lot of the assonance and consonance.
the line about astronomical bills didn't lay right with me. It seemed cliche.
heads tossed back,
dead weight of irony halved,
hope winging past
the vultures.
That was my favorite bite right there. The wing and the vulture, the dead weight of irony halved. That's good stuff.
On my first read I wasn't quite sure about the line breaks. I"ll try to get back and reread for that soon.