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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

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Tale of The Villagers of Light

The Villagers realized, after a time that their weapons were useless.
This was their Enlightenment.
They stopped resisting, but the Oppressors did not take notice.
Time passed, thousands of years, and repressive peace reigned.
Then the Liberators came, they promised freedom.
The Liberators had the same magic as the Oppressors,
They possessed the same weapons, the same healing magic,
and they same flying boxes and bright beeping baubles
that promised man's secular enlightenment.

The Liberators and Oppressors battled.
Both spewed forth their righteous, high minded theories.

The Oppressors promised safety and security.
The Villagers need not fear the wrath of the dark forces beyond the mountains,
the Oppressors would never let them come to harm.
Tribute was expected of course, and punishment was harsh.
Until the Enlightenment, many died for theories similar to the Liberators'.
Since then, none died in violence and tribute was paid.

Knowledge came, then none were sick.
Then the Villagers stopped dying.
So they existed, and waited as knowledge of the Time To Come was realized.
The internal growth out paced the magic of the Oppressors and the Villagers knew.
In time they would leave and the material needs would not be needed.
So they waited.

Then the Liberators came with their theories and machines.
They promised representation, protection without tribute,
and all the benefits of the oppressors without the Tribute or fear.
The Liberators were genuine and meant their promises, but they did not see.
They could not see that their theories, government, and liberation did not matter.
They were not truly liberated.
The Villagers knew their time would come to be Liberated above all.

And so the Oppressors and Liberators battled on the ground and in the sky.
Many were lost, but not the Villagers, because they knew.
Many flying boxes and magic machines were destroyed and many magic lights beamed back and forth in the battle.
They sky and ground were scarred, but not the Village.

In time the Liberators won, and they were good on their promises.
They could not understand why the Villagers mourned the battle and did not cherish their newly won freedom.
The Liberators asked "Did we not free you from oppression? Did we not allow you to determine your destiny and include you in our associations? Are you not now safe from dark forces and further oppression?"

The Village Elders simply replied, "It is you who do not understand. We told you help was not needed and that we were waiting. Scores died and the land and sky are scarred as you warred with the Oppressors for only several thousand simple Villagers."
"Come back to us after the harvest and we will show you true Liberation!"

The seasons passed and the Liberators returned after the harvest.
"Are you ready now to join us?" they asked.
The Elders again spoke "You Liberators have been true to your word and given us all we could possibly want in the material plane. Now our time has come to Ascend and those wants have lost all meaning. Please witness our Ascension Time and work towards your own. Death has been overcome and we will pass to the next world in the hope you will achieve the same in time."

All the Village was assembled. The Liberators watched and stared at each other, not understanding.
Then the first of the Villagers became as light, and vapor, and they began passing into the ether. As the Liberators stared stunned and speechless, the Eldest Villager spoke:
"We have transcended your material needs. We are passing to the world of energy beings to join the Old Ones who transcended before us. "

"You see why your battles were not required, and why we mourned your needless deaths. Please heed our example. Search for your own Enlightenment and Ascension. When you gain the Knowledge, and join us in time, you will understand. More likely you will understand and then join us. Peace and Knowledge to you. We take our leave."

And with that the last of the Villagers was gone. Now the Villagers of Light look upon the material world with sadness for those without the Knowledge. But there is hope with each physical being that begins to know. The great age of Enlightenment and Ascension is yet to come.

Comments

Joe R - on Mar. 10 2008
Just something fun, probably a bit cliche, probably from watching too many sci fi shows and movies!
Shan - on Mar. 10 2008

I thought this was very interesting indeed!

 

One suggestion, you start out as if a poem and end in prose.  I would stick to one form or the other, I like the prose better. 

Shortening it may also add value to the overall impact.  Take out some un-needed words and make the words that remain stand out,

 

overal, very enjoyable read!

 

----- Life is what happens while you wait for great things.




Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Anstey - on Mar. 10 2008

I have to agree with Shannon. I would definitely stick to one or the other. OR pare down the poetry part, and place it as a prelude to the prose.

This is a common technique used in this genre anyways. 


Anstey - on Mar. 10 2008

This seems, to me, to be more of an outline of a story. You need, i think, to flesh this out quite a bit. Possibly focus on key characters. Add dialog. Break out sequences to highlight the importance of the points. The use of poetry to elaborate on the general cultures and philosophies would probably also be excellent. There's something here, but it's more of a kernel at this point.

I do think you have to be very wary of cliche. Obviously this genre is done to death, and that makes it hard to do things that have never been done. It's also hard to do something better than anyone else has ever done it.

Therefore your best bet is to act as the voice for the particular ideas and sensibilities that you personally bring to the themes you're covering.  

Personally, I think the detached-ness - the generic titles and such - of your chosen point of view detracts a bit from what could otherwise be a fairly passionate sort of story. This is why I'd suggest personalizing it with archtypal characters that the reader can relate to.  

I am not sure that the strongly labelled really appeals to me as a reader.


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