A New Army Commercial? (My Own Design!)

Be All You Can Be. That age old Army motto, I thought, was one of the best that they ever came up with. IT says it all, and even says what isn't spoken. Great line. The motto "An Army Of One" wasn't too bad either, but "Army Strong" just plain sounds gay. It sounds like a thug with a paper bag with brains lording over the playground, bullying the small school children for their lunch money

Now if I could make my own commercial...

This stems from two different ideas. The first was a (former) soldier of mine, whose emptyheadedness was almost legendary. If you've ever seen the commercial with that young adult playing some "military" game shooting things, and one of the soldiers knocks on the screen and asks "Hey kid, you're pretty good at this. Wanna try the real thing."

That's what this bonehead did, thanks to the FPS America's Army. Except his was the AWOL Edition...

The second idea was when two comedians came to our base via USO. They were both great guys, and funny as hell. I got to visit them, and we were soon talking about "army commercials". When I got done bitching (which I was) one of them asked me that IF I could do my OWN Army commerical, what would it be?

Tables turned, I came up with this idea right on the spot...

(Sitting in a forest somewhere, late at night, you see a campfire going with six men sitting around it.

The first man is a Civil War (Union) soldier, wearing the blue uniform with a musket at his feet, stirring something cooking in a pot, probably some rabbit he caught. His slouchhat is jaunted to one side.

The second man is a WWI soldier, with faded green uniform, old Springfield bolt action, and a gasmask hanging from his belt. He is opening a can with a can key. He's got an old Doughboy helmet on.

The thrid man is a WWII soldier, some airborn guy with parachute pack, Garand or maybe a BAR, a steel pot, and some affiliation on his shoulder. He sharpening some stolen Nazi knife, helmet strap hanging down.

The forth man is a Korean Vet, with some cloth wrapped and tied around his boots, his uniform covered in snow. He is smoking a cigarette and warms his cold hands by the fire.

The fifth man is Vietnam vet, his BDU's covered in mud. He's got an M16A1, LBE, A helmet with leaves sticking out, and a c-ration with only the cigarettes taken out. He takes malaria pills.

The sixth man is a Desert Storm soldier, with DCU's (desert combat uniform, brown in style) with an M16A4, a new gasmask in a carrier, a ballistic helmet, gloves, and brown boots. He has many bottles of water around him.

From out of the bushes, you hear the noise of a branch breaking. All the soldiers look off in one direction, and in comes to the glow of the fire an OEF/OIF soldier, with body armor, improved ballistic helmet, M-4 hanging down in a tactical style, web vest with lots of pouches on his chest, eye pro, and ACU's. The other soldiers look at him, sizing him up, and slowly nod their head in approval. One of them points to an open spot by them, offering him his place in their group. He takes off his gear, sits down, and pulls out an MRE. He is now one of them.)

Caption: UNITED STATES ARMY: A COMPANY OF HEROES

Now, how's that for advertizement?

Comments

1- Caelanwolf on Nov. 27 2007

I liked Be All You Can Be. An Army of One was OKAY I suppose, but the whole reason they changed it was because people were upset because of how conformist it was - HELLO SOLDIERS DON'T HAVE RIGHTS PEOPLE - but anyway... we are too PC in this country!

Don't make TOO much fun of good ole mister AWOL, he DID come back 3 whole hours after you guys deployed... be easy on him last I heard he was STILL in the mental ward... (I'm not kidding.)

But. I really like your idea, babe! Is a good one. I doubt they'd get away with the nazi memorabilia on a government commercial though. Otherwise it's pretty great sounding, send it in! *grins* And! I wanna can key by the way. Also! DID YOU AT LEAST GET PICTURES OF YOU WITH THE COMEDIANS?! I'm gonna be so mad if you didn't. I hate you. pffa I know the answer is a big fat NO already. That's okay, as long as you get pictures during your promotion ceremony. You shall never be forgiven if you do not - consider this your last warning *giggles* (no seriously.)

2- Laurie on Nov. 27 2007

That is actually a very very good idea. You should pitch it to the Advertising firm that handles the Army account. It used to be Leo Burnett Advertising in Chicago, I am not sure if they still have the account...but get this idea patented or copyrighted, whatever it is, because it is a good one.

3- Alcuin of York on Nov. 27 2007

Well Daniel, let me say that the whole field of advertising, commercials and marketing are best described by the word "propaganda". Think that's too strong? I know a bit about this - my brother has been in the business for over a third of a century, which might possibly be longer than you've lived. We live and drown in a sea of propaganda, whether political, commercial, or religious. We are so used to it that, like a fish in water, we don't even recognize its existence. I highly recommend Orwell, his "1984" as well as his other works. In any case, as reasonable persuasion, let's look at the former mottos you overpraise. "Be all you can be"? Pathetic that one has to join a group of people whose primary mission is to threaten or to deliver destruction, death and pain on orders to ‘be all they can be'. Why not doctoring or teaching or...well, the list is endless. "An Army of One"? I believe we call the guy who tries to go it alone, "AWOL" or "a loose canyon" or "a danger to the rest of the group". An army - any army throughout history - worked best when it acted in a disciplined manner in a group. Alexander's 50K men beat Darius' 2MM men because the former acted as a group, while the latter acted as many many armies of one. You're right that "Army Strong" is pathetic, though I guess I just don't get the gayness.

Finally, your idea. I think it's a great motto; a lot more honest motto; and a lot more effective than scenes of people scaling cliffs to prove they're macho. I seriously recommend you send it to whichever dept. is in charge of the recruitment-prop department. I think they would take it seriously.

And keep safe.

Alcuin

4- Tracey on Nov. 28 2007

I love it. It makes an impact, and I betcha anything that it would help with recruitment efforts. Seriously. Find a way to get it to the right peops.

----- "Bleh," said Toad.

5- Alcuin of York on Nov. 29 2007

In reflecting on this piece, I realized that your suggested motto and all those before it were essentially gimmicks. We constantly hear about 'supporting the troops' and calls to patriotism and such. Has nobody noticed that none of the mottos past, present or proposed appeals to patriotism? None say, "Your country needs you", or the old, "Uncle Sam needs you" or just plain "Serve your country". They're all about being a hero, being a reeeeal man, being part of a group, or getting money (for education or whatever else).

From a marketing standpoint, your suggested motto is good, but something is terribly wrong with the bigger picture, my friend.

Alcuin

6- ShanV on Nov. 29 2007

I don't know, Alcuin, I think maybe it's a more honest viewpoint to the reality of things - the whole ME focused hero, money getting stuff rather than the "I'm doing this for my country" thing. Which I think is what you're saying, but you refer to it as something being wrong with the big picture. That is the only part I disagree with, because I think that focus is okay. Not ideal, but actually better than the whole "I should do it because my country says so, and needs me" thing. THAT mind-set seems, to me, to be one more suseptible to propaganda. But, you know. I'm a generation ME (LOOK AT ME!) person, as is Jersey, (who is a great guy), whose idea is good because it appeals perfectly to said generation. Uh.. basicially what I'm trying to say it, maybe the different perspective on this is due partially to the generational differences of people involved? Perhaps. Just pondering.

----- "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" -Douglas Adams

7- Alcuin of York on Nov. 29 2007

Good point Shannon. As I said, I think the motto is EFFECTIVE, but I don't think it augers well for the future. A people propelled by self-centered interests - whether machoism, groupyism, or just plain ol' money - probably do not have good chances for long-term survival as a group. At some point, the 'we' needs to prevail over the 'me', duty over advantage, sacrifice over appetite. Honestly, I think the country is on a downhill slide, and has been for a half-century, and I don't expect it to stop.

(and that's my more optimistic view!)

Alcuin