White_Feather - Ooh! You've got a great start here - gives me chills. I'm wondering about the postman - which may not translate well. Love the rape analogy, and think you could play that up a little more. Maybe a little more word economy would increase the power of this piece . . . something along the lines of . . .
Echos of screams long to be freed
Memories of a cold November
Where no wise woman arrived
Instead, the savior in white
Assuring safety
Silently He slices . . .
opening me further
breach of trust
with silver spoons
leaving behind an empty womb . . .
Babymoon - Hmm... Would this clarify the postman peice a bit?
Echoes of screams longing to be free
In memories of a cold November
Awaiting a delivery
Where no postman arrived
And then I can remove "delivery" in S2 L5... it's meant to be a play on the word I hate "delivery". Packages are delivered by UPS...babies are not "delivered" to Moms.
I would *love* the "wise woman" peice had that been my expectation for this birth. Sadly, it was not. Otherwise I don't think I would have this to purge myself of.
White_Feather - Storks 'deliver' . . . men do not. 
I hate that term, too.
You could even leave in the line "promising to free" and replace 'free' with 'deliver'. That would bring the play on words closer together, and even heightens a different metaphor of doctor playing God (savior, white, deliver).
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