The Ballad Of Ann-Marie

Not long ago, just down the road
by the river to the east
so many wandered drunk or stoned
into the mouth of the beast.

One half grizzly, one half gator
he was of the strangest breed.
And stealthily under the bridge
upon travelers he’d feed.

Who, oh who will save our land?
Surely, surely not I.
it’s no longer safe to march off drunk
and we’re all afraid to get high.

Many a man went down this path
this beast to slaughter or maim.
But every hero gone that way
was soon the beastie’s claim.

One day came forth the bravest one
a woman nine foot three
known to God and mortal alike
only as Ann-Marie

Who, oh who will save our land?
Surely, surely not I.
It’s no longer safe to march off drunk
and we’re all afraid to get high.

With great steel forged and sturdy axe
she headed to the shore
and leapt upon the sleeping beast
to paint the world in gore.

When all was done our Ann-Marie
brought back this beastie’s head.
As all the village praised her acts
and this is what they said:

Who, oh who has saved our land?
None other than Ann-Marie.
Let all rejoice with bhang and booze
to toast her victory.