Sinnaminsun - I really like the way this reads, the mellow, dreamy feel of this is calming, and by the end the splash of red and eventual screams leave the reader a bit surprised.....by I wasn't;) Great poem.
ShannonV - The last line of this creeped me out. I don't knwo what's going on and I'm not sure I want to.
Laurie - I agree with Shannon... This starts out so sensual but the last line comes across as painful rather than passionate.
Mosquitobyte - Such is the world of dreams and/or nightmares. They oft start of all moist and orgasmic, only to end up moist and terrifying.
End.
Mos.
Derma Kaput - Strangely enough, the last line cracked me up. I'm still chuckling. Is that an appropriate response?
Mosquitobyte - Thanks Derma, that response in itse;f gave me a laugh, so yes, entirely appropriate. Nothing like a dark sense of humour I say.
Glad my crap can at least give you a giggle.
Mos.
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