
I really like the way this reads, the mellow, dreamy feel of this is calming, and by the end the splash of red and eventual screams leave the reader a bit surprised.....by I wasn't;) Great poem.

The last line of this creeped me out. I don't knwo what's going on and I'm not sure I want to.

I agree with Shannon... This starts out so sensual but the last line comes across as painful rather than passionate.

Such is the world of dreams and/or nightmares. They oft start of all moist and orgasmic, only to end up moist and terrifying.
End.
Mos.

Strangely enough, the last line cracked me up. I'm still chuckling. Is that an appropriate response?

Thanks Derma, that response in itse;f gave me a laugh, so yes, entirely appropriate. Nothing like a dark sense of humour I say.
Glad my crap can at least give you a giggle.
Mos.