La-shout -
We actually do need to forgive ourselves sometimes...even if it's for the wrong reasons. You spell out quite the enigma here, alone, dead from the neck up and the crown down. Love is really a blight to logic...yeah call me a cynic and you'd be right. Love is a serious responsibility not all touchy, feely, shagging and flowers and romance oh no!...and when it goes pear-shaped from heart-shaped? You write-right a poem such as this and wait for the slow salve of self-forgiveness.
~Flash~
Anstey - just a question on the sound of this. Obviously this isn't a particularly readable poem, in the sense of getting up and reading it, but, still, I wonder if the middle part with the alone and dead..
Isn't a heart beat THUMP thudthud, THUMP thudthud
What if you did
A
(d)
(e)
L
(a)
(d)
O
(d)
(e)
N
(a)
(d)
E
Type of thing? to get the heartbeat in there?
Rene' - LaShout, thanks for the read and comment! I quite agree with you about love, it is so much more than physical. It also takes two to argue, two to disagree, and two to let hurt happen. It is never all one persons fault...you hurt me once, I forgive you, you hurt me again, I should have known better kind of thing is what I am talking about here. Repeated pains inflicted can be pointed towards the receiver as well for sticking around when they knew it was inevitable.
Stephen, I like your idea there and as this was a very raw writing I do believe that I will go back and use your suggestion. I haven't put it through any revisions as of yet and yours makes perfect sense to me!! Thank you:)
----- LIFE: I messed up, can I have a 'do over'?
I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!
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