Flame - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Flame

We had a pet cat

My Kids called him Flame

Much to my shame

I tested the name

With petrol and matches

Set fire to the cat

He went Woof! not Miaow

How ironic is that?

Anstey -

we had a pet cat named molly
and i figured she could fly by golly
so tied up to the fan
with twisted string strands
and the mess was proof of my folly.

Everyone should have a mean-to-cats poem or two in their repretoir.

Leanne -
Poor Fluffy, his fate was more dire
Than being subjected to fire
So puffed up with hair
His name seemed a dare
To see if he'd shrink in the dryer

Tracey -

Frou-frou was our feline priss
Quickly inspired to hiss
And when she’s most mad
She’s at her most bad
Drowning our rugs in her piss.

OK, it's not a "mean to cats" limerick so much as a "cats being mean to people" piece. But, hey.

Callooh -

poor Rover went out in the cold

fell through the ice,

(or so I've been told)

before he could thaw

Jack took the chainsaw

and made that old hound go MEEOOW...

Aphasic -

My pussy is all back-to-front
in eschewing the thrill of the hunt
when faced with a bird
she releases a turd
then ingests with the aid of...

No, I guess limericks just ain't my thing
[Oh lackaday, my muse has deserted me etc.]

Colleen -

My kitten was a bit bipolar
How he dreaded walks in the stroller
Held down with one hand
He scratched as only a mad cat can
Only to jump out and run under a steam roller

Anstey -

Walking by the murky river side
much to my glee i happened to spy
mr. morris' kitten
in a puff of smoke just sittin'
as little girls missed the irony and cried

La-shout -

Am I allowed to say that I think this Kwite Kool (or hot as it may be)? Gulp! Gulp! I sincerely pray that ol' Uncle Ted has not hired spies to hunt me down in cyberspace, drag me to the village gates, flog me senseless with admonition and hang me at dawn just for the crows to peck at the more delicate morsels I have (or may not). Gulp! I'll be watching over my shoulder from now on and if shitty ditties about burning kitties fly flame-balling at my heels, then I will know conclusively. The ethereal gate has been finally opened between this dimension and the one past-pressed not to reveal its dark and abhorrent poetic sestets (I mean secrets of course) and the flames of hell have been supplied at my doorstep not to toast my cheese sandwiches but to..........:O)

~Flash~