Skip to main content Help Control Panel

Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Desde Debajo

I saw death

She couldn't feel death in her fingers
but I saw it
(come quick!)
-but I saw it and
I heard it cry
I covered my mouth
(evil speaks for itself)

I (actually) saw it.
Death.
mighty, dreadful death.
In the eyes of the stranded
half their way to Detroit
Dirty white tissues in their dirty black fingers
I saw death at night and it
didn't belong there
    (she wasn't laughing)
neither did they; they were stranded,
running upstream against time.
running for the phone
running from (what)
running from Detroit to Detroit
from something worse to something bad
kids with their kids and their parents
and nothing left to bring
but each other.
There were grapes of modern Wrath
in their eyes, or else
in the fingers of a dying girl,
but she couldn't feel it.
She hadn't felt it since Detroit.
    (she wasn't growing stronger)

Anstey - on Jan. 29 2008

A couple of thoughts:

  • Would death be more interesting and powerful if given a gender? (it seems such a weak word to me)
  •  Would it be GrapeS of modern wrath?
  • in L3 i feel like i'm missing something, I can't quite understand the parens seperately around each word, rather than (come quick!) which would be consistent with L7
  • I'm not completely sold on the layout, but it's definitely an interesting piece. I enjoyed it.

Desde debajo - on Jan. 29 2008

Thanks a lot for your thoughts -

The layout looked so much better on paper, and the parentheses weren't really doing it for me.

I rather prefer the anonymity of "it" though, rather than "he."

~Annie 


Share
* Invite participants
* Share at Facebook
* Share at Twitter
* Share at LinkedIn
* Reference this page
Monitor
Recent files
Member Pages »
See also