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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Jasmine's Poetry

Organic and Red Lace

And they'll come
out of blue jalopies
hard, and hoping
to score higher
than their fantasy
football team.

She won't come
willingly, but they will
take it from her in
their leather seats
ripe with
organic and
red lace.

(souls are cheapest
with a bottle of wine
and cleavage)

In the mirror she
won't see a slut -
she was a virgin once,
and only spread her legs
to anyone willing
to part;

smoked cigarettes in her
mother's closet
full of
organic and
red lace.

Eventually she'll
look into the mirror,
again,
think of when they
took it from her -

and see she's older
than she used to be.

Anstey - on Jan. 5 2008
This is an odd question, but do you think it might have more impact with just 'football team' rather than 'fantasy football team' -- it seems that that added layer of abstraction pulls something from it on one hand. THOUGH, i can see that it also says some about the gentlement about which it speaks.
Rene' - on Jan. 5 2008

I like fantasy in this context, with it on one line and then football team on the next, it gives a double meaning to the first stanza. In the 2nd line, how about using 'in' instead of 'out of', it increases the chance of double meaning for 'come' which seems to go with the rest of the poem quite well.

in stanza 2, L3, you could do without 'away', just for the sake of flow and it won't change the meaning at all. The rest of this is really amazing! 

----- just wandering the maze of hallways in my bent mind!




I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!
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