Tears Become Me

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An empty shell
I ponder Eva
I ponder Mandi
I am in hell
I need to have tactility
Oh just one touch
Typed out words
Only help so much
I threw away one
Thought I'd found another
Before my mind
Chose to discover
That all my fears
Those late night screams
Had been succoured
By a Kentucky dream
So I sat
In a dangerous state
External sorrow
Internal hate
How could I do this
Once again
Better to cease it
Than continue
It hurt to ponder
To make that call
More than banging my head
Against that cold wall
I sat a while
Thinking naught
Far too dangerous
Lest I think that sharp thought
But as it darkens
And shadows haunt the walls
I see no one
Nothing
But this vast hall
This is no house
It's too big for one
I'm here alone
Loved by no one
Now I know that they love me
Mandi, the rest
But right here right now
I'd rather be dead
I shake myself
And get out of the funk
Watch a DVD
My god that was dumb
The film got me crying
The soundtrack more still
I looked all around me
Just walls and their chill
I cradled my head
In two shaking hands
Dropped to the floor
Pain when I land
A rage escapes from in my mind
As my mirrored eyes
Turn to slime
I rocked
I cradled
Nothing helped
I was all alone
Me, nobody else
Aaaah sharp objects
Sweet in their desire
No bitter pills
Nor cleansing fire
To escape
So sweet
But I tarry
Suffering suits me
And so I lie
Here on the floor
Continue to cry
It's another day now
I've done a wrong
And I've been done a right
Twitching, trembling
In a blissful night
Yet I sit here now
And type these words
And feel the pain
In both your eyes
I hold it tight
And let out a sigh
Your tears become me
As I ponder why
Just one little scratch
And bloody tears will be mine

© 2005, Mosquitobyte