Star Struck - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Star Struck

My little diatribe about a certain type of "poet" who seems more intent on earning points than having anything original, or at the very least, interesting, to say.

I think I'll submit a poem,
yeah, this one once again
I'm up to 15 billion stars
top 100 I am in

I must be bleedin' awesome
look at all those votes
That Mossie's only trying
not even 100 reviews

This poems had 300 reviews
on every single night
I'm such a bloody genius
with everything I write

I submit this again tomorrow
and the morrow after that
even tho' my one piece
is an unmitigated disaster

Look at Mossie, submits but once
can't he hear the laughter
He writes 3 every night
just truth is what he's after

Bugger that I say
I'm not here to play
Those stars are what I'm after
even with this piece of tripe
1 star per review is faster

Leanne -

Sounds like poets.com... the re-re-re-submit syndrome. I have nothing but contempt for those people (though there are, or at least were, good poets buried amongst the steaming piles of manure).

So, to that end, I thought I'd share my ode to the breed:

I'm a poor poet, the Top Ten it beckons,
Thousands of messages sent, I can't lose,
I am the best poet ever, Mum reckons -
Listen as I sing the ole five star blues.

In between ebay and internet banking,
I write my poems and beg for reviews,
One hand for typing, the other for wanking -
Listen as I sing the ole five star blues.

Look at my name in the coveted "best" list,
Some people say I don't have any clues.
What would they know? They're so fucking elitist -
Listen as I sing the ole five star blues.

Mosquitobyte -

PMSL!!!

Got it in one. I was quite the unpopular one on that site.

Leanne -
You must have been there after me, or you'd have known what "quite the unpopular one" is to the bible bashing freakoid ego suck jobs.

Mosquitobyte -

LOL, let's just say, I had many convinced I was pure satans spawn. They of course failed to realise that, following biblical logic to the only possible conclusion, that I am in fact working more for their god than they are!

aaaah, 'tis truly a blessing to be excommunicated.....

Mos.

Rene -

I, too, was a victim of poets.com. It all started very nicely, sweetly, and then the viscious fights for stars, the constant emails that said, READ MINE, READ MINE. I got so irritated at the masses. There were some really good poets buried in the muck if you took the time to find them. There were also some awesome people for critiquing and helping one to expand their horizons, but, as you said, they were few and far between.

----- Rene'

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

Colleen -

both of your poems had me cracking up.. a billion stars for each!!! haha..

Mosquitobyte -
See....I can be funny. te he. Thanks Colleen.

Someday In May -

Yup...I am poets.com reject myself. My ass is STILL swollen from all slaps and "good jobs" followed with the famous "check out my poem"...which usually sucked.

I wrote one of these poems myself called "Lemmings shouldn't write poetry". I can't seem to find it now...*pout*.

On the brightside, I met some really great people....and one satan spawn whom I grew to adore.

Mosquitobyte -

I seem to remember the Lemming one, had me PMSL if I recall.

Oh and by the way.....

Mos.

Someday In May -
Muah