Sick Addiction - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Sick Addiction

A little piece on understanding...the revision

I crave your touch,

rough hands scratching my soft

skin, wet tongue licking my face

as you crawl

into my mouth.

I mold tightly to your hardened

body, feeling the throb

of your identity. Pin me

to the wall,

tantalizing my rosy nipples with

sharp white incisors,

making me tremble

as I try to claw my way

into you.

Throw me to the bed

with urgent desire while indecipherable words

litter the air mixing with ripped clothing

that flies from our bodies.

I mount you with

untamable greed,

stabbing your manhood deep

within the pink folds of my

pulsating needs,

causing me to erupt in a

volcanic flow

that sears it’s smell into the air

and we become

one.

Is this what you experience

with your meticulously manicured

line of acidic white powder

and that straw crammed up

your nose, inhaling deeply, and soaring

into the unknown spaces

of sublime ecstasy?

Do you crave it like I crave you?

I never

knew.

Comments

Tracey -

The ending of this surprised me, made it rich. A valuable, instructive poem for those who judge addicts of any kind.

I'm not sure about some of the language, which feels stilted or almost too proper, e.g., rigidness (firmness, tautness?) , terrorizing (tantalizing, teasing?).

Nice write, Rene.

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~~~t~~~

Rene -
Thanks Tracey, I have already started the rewrites and will post it in a day or so when I feel it is better. I agree with the language feeling too proper in places and those are the areas on which I have been concentrating. many thanks...
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Rene'

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

Alcuin of York -

Leaving the technicals alone - since you're rewriting it anyway - I'd like to just say your sympathy for the addict, and your understanding of the addiction drive, are both far greater than mine. I tend to be very condemnatory toward such acts, which is not particularly constructive, but reflects the way I was raised, which is to believe that one should exercise more willpower. Life has taught me the limitations of the will and the cost of its exercise, yet a balanced living requires more of it than is currently fashionable. I like the fact that you've presented your view as an understanding non-addict.

Alcuin

Rene -
Thank you Alcuin for your insightful comments. The fact of the matter is, this was my life, the one that I had to leave, and this is my understanding of what I gave up and what he cannot give up.
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Rene'

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!