Drifting - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Drifting

drifting
there's jupiter
tasting the moon's lipstick
before, always before, cool night
splashes blue awake in waves of golden
madrigals, gliding between stars
to brush heaven's earring;
the sky's cadence
drifting

Alcuin of York -

"Madrigals" is a good word. I had to look it up to refresh my memory. It's a perfect fit to the intended imagery.

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I think there should be a comma after "blue".

I also like to write of the transitions between day and night. I've always found them both to be beautiful times. I guess I'm a change person - I like fall and spring the most.

Alcuin

Pags -
"to brush heaven's earring" That line is a gem. (The rest is not bad either!) I delight in the challenge of Rictameter - I should have a go at these again

Tracey -
The personification of the celestial, colors, perfect word choices and dreaminess make for a memorable and enjoyable read. REally nice.

Derma Kaput -
Being everything else is pretty much said, I'll add that the shape of this poem is a gem too - just like a twinkling star. Or a planet. But yeah, I agree - very nice poem.

Kat -
thanks everyone.......and alcuin, the comma after "blue" would surely work, but change the meaning of the poem......I actually intended for the "cool night" to awaken the morning by splashing it with sunlight......though your point is well taken.......Kat

Shan -
Beautiful images, the format is great too.
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Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

Life is what happens while you wait for great things.