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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in The Personal Space of U668857

The Garages

er...not sure...here's a poem?

The Garages

The garages are gone that lined the car-park
(our playing fields of Eton); gable-ends
that served for goal-mouth, or chalk-marked
cricket-stumps, or other ball-game rebounds.

We vied in line to scale their nine-foot height:
a stepping back, a pause for sizing-up;
then loping run and springing lift to hit
the bricks for leverage, arms swung-up and slap

of hands on hard wall. We'd fall back
like down-flung salmon under heavy weirs;
to turn and this time surge from higher brick
with straining tendons primed like hot wires

and heave to new-found heights: the pantheon aloof;
to be Olympic gods who reign a conquered roof.

Anstey - on Aug. 6 2007

NOpe, But I'll help you.

I'll create a personal space for you to post your stuff as you see fit.

 Welcome aboard!

 

fondly

stephan 


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  • stephan

U668857 - on Aug. 6 2007
Anstey: OK (I think?)...Much obliged! Cheers, Alan.
Anstey - on Aug. 7 2007
A sonnet....
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  • stephan

Leanne - on Aug. 7 2007
Alan, many welcomes!  I'm suspecting that small accent differences are causing the problems I have with the meter here, since it's always on lines with words that can be drawn out more than I would do.  So, I'm not worried... except for S1, L2, which keeps bugging me for being too long and I'd suggest getting rid of "those".  The caesura allows the grammar to work despite dropping a word.  Actually, S3 L3 gives me the same problem, how does it work for you if you change "springing" to "spring"?  But all things considered, this is a really enjoyable read.
U668857 - on Aug. 7 2007
Anstey: yeah--I tend to write sonnet-derivative pieces - to give them a modern feel....but yes....essentially a sonnet ....Cheers, Alan.
U668857 - on Aug. 7 2007

Leanne: Ah excellent....much obliged Leanne. Yes...I'm going to take out the "those" - lucky enough (as you say) the caesura is fortuitously placed. That "springing" I originally had as "sprung". I changed it thinking "springing" restored the iambic meter. But maybe I should change it back....Now...just gotta figure out what the protocol is on this site for editing and re-posting...I guess I just edit it within my personal area again...or something like that ! BRgds., Alan.

 

 


Leanne - on Aug. 7 2007
If you just go into the "edit" section at the top of the page, you'll be set -- once done, it will actually allow you to view previous versions (if you want to).  If you're keen to repost rather than leaving it where it is, just "unpublish" it and "publish" it again, which moves it to the top of the queue.
U668857 - on Aug. 7 2007
Leanne: Thanks - sounds good. Cheers, Alan.
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