Deepest Ecology - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Deepest Ecology

Ode to Gaia

Where all is leveled

And one breathing system

Holds the sinews the veins the spirit fibers

That link

a weevil ~ a rock ~ water ~ you

Where all is She

And a mere veil of smoke

Separates the memories the ideas the possibilities

That weave

An electron ~ a hibiscus ~ Mozart

Where all is old

And primordial stew

Blends always recombinations and magic mutations

That harmonize

Air ~ imagination ~ earthworms ~ sea

Comments

Tracey -
I go for writing with a shamanic slant to it, and this certainly fills the bill. I'm torn between feeling this is perfect as is, ending "openly" without a real beginning or end, and feeling as if I want something more. I'll sit with it awhile and let you know if I have any ideas.

Alcuin of York -
Nice parallels, though I think commas after ‘sinews', ‘veins, etc would produce a greater feel of multitudinousness (yes - that's a real word) at the cost of some runniness. But then again, it feels too much of a runny-on-like write to me, which your "~"s only increase. That of course is a personal preference only.

Real technical: I do think it should be ‘spirit-fibers' in S1.

Other than that, excellent.

Alcuin

Rhiannon Jones -
Thanks very much for these comments. I wrote this in about 5 minutes in a stream-of-consciousness mode a few months ago. It got rave reviews at another site, which really puzzled me. i never thought it was very good. I think Tracey's right - it needs to be contextualized, framed in some way...which would make it less "runny-on". I'll work on it some more...

Anstey -
You know, I agree with tracey on this one - though I tend toward feeling it needs a less open ending.