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Nice parallels, though I think commas after ‘sinews', ‘veins, etc would produce a greater feel of multitudinousness (yes - that's a real word) at the cost of some runniness. But then again, it feels too much of a runny-on-like write to me, which your "~"s only increase. That of course is a personal preference only.
Real technical: I do think it should be ‘spirit-fibers' in S1.
Other than that, excellent.
Alcuin
by Alcuin of York on Aug. 5 2007