Not Your Eve - Shakespeare's Monkeys

Not Your Eve

...................................No,
.....................................no,
.............your bones cannot be blamed for
........what I am: my core, my flesh, my skin,
...are all my own, free of your dust-made ribs.
...I was here before your words, before serpent
....or his hiss, days before you or your helpmate
........in her ingnorance-turned-fig-leaf-modesty,
..............hungered for more. I am not your Eve.
...........No, you know me as the tempting fruit,
......forbidden: bright, sweet, swollen, & ripe.
..........My juices drip down your chin. I am
....................something to digest. Now
.............................you .. ..know.

Included in Shakespeare's Monkey Revue volume 1, issue 2

Comments

Anstey -
The shape on that is awesome. And while I generally despise the use of font tricks and colors, I am loathe to admit - this works.
-----

stephan

Alcuin of York -

As Eve said to Adam,

"Bite this!"

Alcuin

PS: I always thought the snake got the real bumb rap.

Anstey -
Snakes always get shafted.
-----

stephan

Mic -

Wow! This is just awesome, Julie! I love the poem itself, and, I really dig the form here, as well as the color -- they both add greatly to the work!

.................................Mm
.....................................m
.............mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
..............mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
...........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
..........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
....................mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
.............................mmm .. .. mmm!

Yeah, the kinda poem that you can really get your teeth into!

Alcuin of York -

You might want to take a look at "Hunger Monkey" on a similar theme.

Alcuin

Jen -
The words the shape are really cool:) Very creative!

Julie -

Stephan, Fred, Mic & Jen ~

Thank you all for your reactions & feedback!

Stephan ~

I generally share the same sentiment. I usually find the pictoral poem bit hokey. I hadn't written one since grade school, (remember the music note I posted once upon a time?) but when I was writing this poem (and the poem came first), some of the natural line breaks lent themselves to the shape... (but I do think the color got distracting)

...and then I thought of "The Dangers of Pornography" by

Alcuin ~

Your piece was the first effective pictoral poem I'd seen in a while. This definitely pales in form to yours. Thanks for the inspiration. As for "Hunger Monkey", I'll respond there as soon as work allows me a break.

Mic & Jen ~

again, thank you for the happy thoughts. I'm glad you liked it!

Tracey -
WOW! This is wonderful! The shape and colors are fab and creative, but it's the message here I love most of all. Great one, Julie!

Ellenans -
This is wonderful. I enjoyed it very much. I've been thinking about eve lately...and have had the beginnings of some sort of poem or writing in my head for the last three weeks about eve....I ought to get it out before the thought goes away!

Thank you for this.

Ellen