A Picture With no Name

Photographs are odd.  They are not real -- the moment that occurred when the photograph was taken never occurs again, but is distorted by our memories as we superimpose other moments both real and imagined.  I think that's why they make such an interesting motif in poetry -- one single image that stands for so much more.  Your poem got me thinking about all the people whose names I can't remember, and I have a fairly good memory, so I started wondering how we choose the things we keep fresh in our minds, because it's certainly not always due to liking them.  And even if we forget the small details (like names), we almost always remember humiliation and pain -- I suppose that's a survival trait, trying to ensure that we don't make the same mistakes again.  I'm sure it even works sometimes   If only, indeed.

I understand and agree with the comments above. To them I'd add: I think it would strengthen the piece to describe, whether in detail or not, what's featured in the photo. Was it a group or a couple? Is the photo black and white or aged color?

Also - why "dumb?" Though any reader could fill in the blanks, I'd like to know your reason for choosing that word.

I also finding myself wondering why it would be important to remember more. Just because...? At the same time, I do indeed like the last stanza.

Just a few thoughts to consider.

The awkwardness of coming of age is a very relatable topic.  I like what you created here and how you re-captured those feelings through a snapshot. 

 My only suggestion would be, remember her name.  Most people don't forget the name of their first crush, love, kiss or experience.  I think it would make the piece stronger if you gave those feelings a name.    

• stephan

Well, since you can't remember her name your piece is very factual. You could lie and pick a name to enhance the piece, any name will do.  I'm thinking of a southern name like Caroline or Suzanne?  You could always leave it as is but now that you've explained the story behind the poem, I want to know her name. 

J

I think the 'dumb' attribute is appropriate in the sense that she is not 'speaking' (her name -- in the present). The problem is that 'young' obviously relates to  the time captured in the photograph, although that is presumably how she's remembered.

"...she was not well endowed...": was that distracting? Or was there another diverting characteristic -- false teeth? Baritone voice? Ok -- it's the angelic, momentous face of opportunity. Jen's boobs were obviously underrated. Did I get that right?

Like Jen, I'm wondering why the event was 'stale'; it doesn't sound unmemorable ("first sensual closeness", "exciting beginning", "feelings decimated"), and the final stanza suggests that the memories are stalking the writer rather than having been consigned to "a ragtag scrap book".

Anyway, good luck with the exorcism kz; not sure why it's so important, but there are obviously unresolved issues hanging in that picture