Four Year old Wisdom

Through the confusing haze
Of snot and pain
And over the counter pain killers
His voice whispers
Cracks a little from the newness
Of keeping quiet

As he rubs my back
With a chubby little hand
“it’s all right mamma, don’t cry
It’s gonna be okay”

He pauses in his words
Pats my head
Which richocets fresh pain
Across the back of my head
And spikes through
My red eyes

And through the agony
I hear him again
“Wanna paint?”

1- Jen on May 25 2007

You really capture parenthood with the simplicity that all parents can relate to. I remember my daughter first sentence was, "Wanna color...Hummm?"

I know you have a lot of these kinds of poems and you should really consider sending them out as a collection for a poetry book. People like these kinds of poems and I'm sure there is a market for them.

2- Anstey on May 25 2007

Yeah, it's true, you really do the mommy-snap-shots really well. Keep posting them, I have this chick I live with that I think will enjoy them a lot.

-----

stephan

3- Jayne on June 3 2007

I really like this, its kind of an introduction to someone I'd be happy to know, its thread of motion and charm pulls from me the way his mind works toward you feeling better. I like it a lot, I thought the first 4 lines picked up a few vibrations outside the context of sinus infection and played with the lower half just to see what it would do, (still playing with it, its wonderfully flexible:) line wrapping does neat things to it, including sticking out its tongue at me for messing too much with it. the only suggestion I think might be worth pursuing is to find a way to use 'through' and 'head' only once towards the end...still thinking, something like pats my head/a ricochet of fresh pain/(verb)my red eyes/ and keeping the ending as is.