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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

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Four Year old Wisdom

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I really like this, its kind of an introduction to someone I'd be happy to know, its thread of motion and charm pulls from me the way his mind works toward you feeling better. I like it a lot, I thought the first 4 lines picked up a few vibrations outside the context of sinus infection and played with the lower half just to see what it would do, (still playing with it, its wonderfully flexible:) line wrapping does neat things to it, including sticking out its tongue at me for messing too much with it. the only suggestion I think might be worth pursuing is to find a way to use 'through' and 'head' only once towards the end...still thinking, something like pats my head/a ricochet of fresh pain/(verb)my red eyes/ and keeping the ending as is.

by Jayne on June 3 2007