A reason to Smile

A three car accident
Before the abandoned vehicle
On the Ironworker’s memorial bridge
And a speed trap
Through evening rush hour

After the hectic day
Interviews and reviews
Politics and policies
And a quick three o’clock nibble
Of a wilted sandwich

A brief moment of silence
Before being swept
Into a whirlwind of chatter
And bickering
With yet more daycare overtime

It’s a quarter to seven already
Tomorrow’s to be a repeat
And from the backseat
“Mama, I’m gonna keep you”
With a grin in the rear view

1- Tracey on Apr. 23 2007

Oh, I wish you could have heard the sound that came out of my mouth while reading that last stanza. The deep mama "OH!" exhalation of oh, my God, what a blessed moment.

In the first stanza or so I was a wee bit confused about where the imagery was going, so I'm wondering if you should put something more like the wilted sandwich -- something more individual and personal? -- in the first stanza.

Of course, I'm tired as hell and might be talking out of me arse. But that's the way I sees it at one a.m.

2- Kath on Apr. 23 2007

You reach a really good climax here...and the contrast between the build up (quite a pile up of a day, oh dear...it's exhausting to think of it...and that really comes through)...and then...that breath of sweet air moment is strong and clear! I like the lack of punctuation--it adds to the accumulation feeling...perhaps eliminating the caps at the beginning of lines might add even more? But I know that's a matter of personal taste and style...I found them a little distracting to the push forward, which is so effective.