
I think it filled 'the place' or 'places' .. probably just a typo.
I generally like the way this reads. Particularly the ending. The subject matter is common enough that I'd worry about being trite, but I think you did a good job with it. (Oh, and I'll move your library over asap .. you don't remember your member number do you

- stephan

Thanks for finding the typo, Stephan. I haven't written anything in months, so I'm happy for *any* poem, trite or otherwise
Did I HAVE a number at DMV If I had one, and I play it in the lottery and it wins, do I have to give you half my winnings
Ah, it's good to be back LOL!

I very much like the image you paint here with your words, whether or not it has been done before. You capture the sense of the long slow transformation of falling snow which feels timeless. There are lines in this poem that I find outstanding. My favourite has to be "tersely brown and grey" closely folowed by "cold and crystalline / cracked". I am less convinced by your use of tense, stanza five being in the present. As I read I want everything to be written present tense in one sustained moment of time becoming out-of-time, emphasised by phrases such as "all the while".
As I read again I wonder about the word 'encovered'. Was this a typo, or did you want to convey the image of bare beneath the sheets? If it is a typo then the tautology doesn't work for me, but reflects the tautology of the third verse (had been taken, had been left empty). If the word wasn't a typo then I feel the word is too 'clever' to use within the simplicity of the rest of your word choices.
Overall though I LIKE this poem very well. I guess its because of that that I want to edit it into something outstanding! Arrogant or what? Ho hum. Use my comments or discard them, whatever fits.

Pags,
Man, your comments are *exactly* the type of feedback I'm looking for!!! Thanks muchly. I agree with you on the tense. It seems much better to keep the action all in the present. I'm stuck myself on the 'encovered'. It's not a word, and I don't much believe in 'poetic license', but it says exactly what I want and for the life of me I can't figure how else to say it. I want the image of being naked under warm and comforting covers. I'd welcome any suggestions that way.
I've revised it thusly:
A Quiet Storm
The snow comes
softly,
replacing dawn.
What had been
tersely brown and grey
is lightened.
The day fills the woods.
Fills in places where things
have been taken,
have been left empty.
Something cold and crystalline
cracks open
something long frozen.
Bare,
encovered
you reach for me
I melt into you.
All the while
the snow keeps falling,
filling the night
with dark and silent brilliance.
Thanks,
K.

YES!

I like, but without the 'the'
bare
under cover
You reach for me
I melt into you
Thanks again,
Kathy