A Quiet Storm

Pags,

Man, your comments are *exactly* the type of feedback I'm looking for!!!  Thanks muchly.  I agree with you on the tense.  It seems much better to keep the action all in the present.   I'm stuck myself on the 'encovered'.  It's not a word, and I don't much believe in 'poetic license', but it says exactly what I want and for the life of me I can't figure how else to say it.  I want the image of being naked under warm and comforting covers.  I'd welcome any suggestions that way.

I've revised it thusly:

A Quiet Storm

The snow comes

softly,

replacing dawn.

What had been

tersely brown and grey

is lightened.

The day fills the woods.

Fills in places where things

have been taken,

have been left empty.

Something cold and crystalline

cracks open

something long frozen.

Bare,

encovered

you reach for me

I melt into you.

All the while

the snow keeps falling,

filling the night

with dark and silent brilliance.

Thanks,

K.