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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

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To those of you who've noticed my swollen belly ...

To those of you who've noticed my swollen belly but were afraid to ask

Yes.

To answer your unspoken question:
yes, I
do enjoy my ice cream
daily, sometimes
more, with strawberries, bananas, peanuts,
chocolate chips and syrup, whipped cream,
jimmies (or "sprinkles" to those of you who don't
speak Yankee), a cherry on top,
and -- mmm-mm --
on the side,
a dill pickle spear.

I know, that's gross. I think so too.

But my stomach
begs to differ as does
the hungry child within me, due
to escape come
September.
Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007
Are you sure it's yours?
-----
  • stephan

Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007
I only ask because that's the first thing my friends asked me.
-----
  • stephan

Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007
So you're serious about this whole 'mom' thing, it looks like anyways.
-----
  • stephan

Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007

wow.

 

This is sort of shocking.  


-----
  • stephan

Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007
Did you know that babies are the leading cause of criminals in the world. Almost every criminal ever born was once a baby.
-----
  • stephan

Alcuin of York - on Aug. 8 2007

Funny, I'm on the exact same diet, and my bellies swollen too. Hmm.

Also, Stephan, there are two theories for stopping crime. One is to ban all babies, or perhaps just force the parents to get a license first. The second is to allow everyone to carry one on their person. In public. Fully loaded.

Alcuin the Babyrian (Conan's younger brother)


Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007
A fully loaded baby... oh my.
-----
  • stephan

Julie - on Aug. 8 2007

yikes!  no no no no NO!  *LOL*

 Look at the date on this piece.

 It's an old one that's been sitting on the server unpublished for ages.  I was doing some housecleaning in my corner here, and thought I might as well make it accessible.  This is from DMV days & is about Bean, who just turned 1! 


Julie - on Aug. 8 2007
Have y'ever been shot by one of them things?  Damn, they've got RANGE.  At LEAST 6 feet!
Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007
I thought it was a piece about your vain attempt to create a Julie Clone rather than a manSlave unit I'm glad for the correction.
-----
  • stephan

Julie - on Aug. 8 2007
No, really, it was about my terrible craving for some ice cream to ward off the heat wave...  
Anstey - on Aug. 8 2007

I have cake batter iced cream in my freezer. In honor of Papa Smurf's Belly, I shall have some.

Then seconds for Bean! 


-----
  • stephan

Poetic Insomniac - on Aug. 9 2007

Oh man. I miss being pregnant. I craved salsa and dougnuts. I even had dreams about them. And the cookies i made, oh! I should have gone into the cookie business while i was pregnant. Ask my husband about the way i would watch his plate to see if there were any scraps i could eat after he finished. I'd never loved food more in my life.


-----
Contemplate this on the Tree of Woe.


"Milk is for babies. When you grow up, you have to drink beer." - Arnold
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