- Alcuin of York on May 7 2007 - #
- Your style is what I might call “plain speaking”, usually terse but not succinct. I enjoy poems that require some study – one of the things I like about Marianne Moore’s works. However there’s a balance that’s needed so that they are decipherable. This is near the edge, but only goes over in the 2nd from last line – the “whipped backs”.
Certainly, your style fits the subject like hand-in-glove. And each re-read increases appreciation. It’s a bit uncomfortable; especially the “only thing left is” and “cut to the fall” make the tragedy seem inevitable. I’m afraid I believe in saving people from themselves. I can’t accept this inevitability stuff.
On the other hand, experience has proven to me that you’re right more often than I would prefer to believe.
Alcuin
More in Seriously Good Poems, Beloved by Stephan
like the way your lips twitch
she wears her blond
like a crucifix.
A distinction earned hard,
the old fashioned way.
At least on your back,
the blood won't flow down it.
So, the only thing left
is the sequel-
she'll star
wearing sequins
and smoking.
the last scene-
cut to the fall from the pier,
voice-over shrieking
the original
in mad love with the blond
blood flows down whipped backs
it's all about the sequel
fell from the pier, shrieking
like a crucifix.
A distinction earned hard,
the old fashioned way.
At least on your back,
the blood won't flow down it.
So, the only thing left
is the sequel-
she'll star
wearing sequins
and smoking.
the last scene-
cut to the fall from the pier,
voice-over shrieking
the original
in mad love with the blond
blood flows down whipped backs
it's all about the sequel
fell from the pier, shrieking
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