Politely avoiding the word 'hag' - Shakespeare's Monkeys

politely avoiding the word 'hag'

Friday will be Cheryl's birthday
accompanied with singing,
cake (sadly no singing cakes though),
men in uniform,
and the general wailing
and gnashing of teeth that such things inevitably bring.

I will have no compassion for her
as she shakes and shudders in fear of gray hair
wrinkles and her loudly impending death,

because I am dying just as fast as she is
with none of her grace.

Ok.

That is a lie.

I am not only younger,
but far more graceful.

When she was my age she was busy falling down stairs
and breaking her delicate ballerina ankles.

Still,
people suck,
I have no compassion --

only a gaggle of squawking terrorist penguins
ready to be released on her ass.

What can I say,
I'm that kind of generous.

ShannonV -

Heh. Is this about a sibling?

Also, I know it's your motto and everything, but i find the phrase "people suck" to be trite and meaningless- especially given the exponential rate at which everything is continuing to suck. This is an objective observation, I’m not being dreary. And it’s also just not descriptive enough. I wish you would describe how and what and with what intensity people suck. As in: civilization sucks the sweat off of hairy man balls at a speed definitely exceeding 100sucks per hour. This may warrant a different poem. Or like.. a novel. ALSO I’M SORRY FOR THIS COMMENT. I just drank like a gallon of coffee and wrote two essays and frekjadfaerfadsflja.

Celticlion -
Hmmmmmmm, yes, I enjoyed this write, but I think it would have more bite if you tightened it up and made it a bit less chatty. Like the "singing cake" thing. Just an idea. It seems the chattiness is a way to avoid becoming too pointed in how you truly dislike Cheryl and the choices she's made or how she's dealing with life. So, rather than being funny, it's a cover up. This is how it comes across to moi. I say call her a hag. Serve her a plate of haggis and be done with it. Hehehehe....C