A Man in Love, Goes for a Hike

Plures Mens

The forest breathes your fragrance
Sending a sweet caress
Upon my brow

Leaves fall
Wistfully
As the forest weeps
With your memories

Boulders rear out of the dappled light
The curve of your hips
In my eyes

Soil
Rich and fertile
Akin to your mind
Draws me in
Rooting me to your presence

I lie in a glade
Within this sensory overload
Thinking only of you

And the crows

Feasting on me

U668857 -

Wow!...shock ending to this ghostly little lyric....it has a wonderful succinctness and yet wafts sensuously. Without getting into meaning or intention, for me, it's a little ghost story and love story combined. The feeding of those crows could symbolize many things, but given the potency of the love permeating the forest it suggests death in (or after) love and reiterates the age-old linkage of love and death...Most stimulating....Rgds., Alan,

Mercieca, Andrew -

Thanks Alan,

I do believe that's the best critique you've given me! I must be getting somewhere at last.

Mos

Laurie Blum -

I really like this Andrew. Like Alan, I think the revelation at the end is what really makes this piece and the ending is a complete suprise to the reader. I like that you kept the romantic sweetness going until the very end. I like that you didn't hint at the twist at the end either, it made the whole thing more potent!

Mercieca, Andrew -

Thanks Laurie, much appreciated.

Stephan Anstey -

I really enjoyed that ending too. Well done my friend.

Mercieca, Andrew -

Thanks young fella!