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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

May 16, 2025  

More in Synapse: Michael Mission Harris

Secret Love Poem

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Red is not restricted to her lips,
but runs across
her, like a cobra battling a
mongoose; more
waits beneath it

like words beneath
white-out, some
is only dye
that melts on contact
though more waits beneath.

Like a painter deeply
engaged who can't be
bothered to wash up
but washed instead

in rain, mimicked
through complications,
rules, like a cobra battling
a mongoose.

 

 

Shannon McEwen - on Apr. 29 2009

 First, I like this, like the images, especially the white out.

 

The second stanza needs to be sharper, it seems a little wordy to me, it distracts from the great line "Like words beneath white out"

 

Hope that helps

-----
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.


Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Mike Tousignant

avatar
on Apr. 28 2009

Life as it's found.
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