
I really like, very powerful to me.
A couple of suggestions:
In S2 L4, the line is too long, when reading I lost the rythmn.
In S3 you use the word "die" twice, which is your emphasis I believe but could you ot use another more subtle word to replace one. For instance "leave"
Just my rambling thoughts.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.

Thanks again Shannon, good suggestions and; as you can see, I've acted on them for a change!!
Mos.