writing about - Shakespeare's Monkeys

writing about

15year old words....

i remember in the days of yore,
when mountains caved and lonely sores
hurt more than they do nowadays.

clouds stand still on seasides when
the pigs all crowd around the pen
and eagerly await the slaughter.

the deadly infection spread like churches
and all along the forest, birches
were hacked down before speaking to their grandchildren.

and what i wanted most from life,
was to settle down and find a wife
who liked to watch horror on saturdays.

but she never came to me, you see
that blind men do, occasionally
take walks in the park and admire the sun.

to be frank, i'm frantic.
to be clear, i'm crazy.
to be honest, i'm hectic.
to be...anyone, i'm me.

i wasn't expecting anything to happen today. but she did. anything visits me in my dreams. and the whiteness and innocence of her hair astounds me every time. the way it captures the sun or the moon catches my eye.

and i saw a joint for the first time not on TV. was it a joint? i don't know.

what's that on the fire, mrs. lovett?

i enjoy what you think you enjoy like your mother enjoyed last week at noon on tuesday night. and i think i dislike what you said to your girlfriend last week about her hips.

we all heard it. it was rude.

and the scars on my wrists shall always stay there,
though not because i put them there,
it was hatred for me,
hatred for them,
and the veins that bubble under beg for release,
like rivers overflowing their banks.

it's gross that way.

did i mention that potentially forgot about what i was going to write about today?

Rene' -
Quite and an odd write! Intriguing, interesting, and definitely something that calls to me. I enjoyed it and couldn't STOP reading!

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

Callooh -

thanks! actually, it's my daughter's, but it was so fun I thought I would post it.

Leanne -

How, how, how in the big wide world of words did you end up with a daughter who can rhyme? And not only rhyme, but do it so it sounds nice and easy and natural and... oh, your genes have seriously mutated.

So, the triplets are nicely done and a very cool setup but the real joy of this comes in the stream-of-consciousness shift to prose -- or surreal poetry that just can't be bothered breaking into smaller lines. I especially like "and i think i dislike what you said to your girlfriend last week about her hips", beautiful!

A couple of bits are on the wordy side -- the second stanza could stand to be chopped a bit, things like "eagerly await" are cliched and can be said in a more interesting fashion -- but on the whole, this is really enjoyable and you know I'm not just saying that to encourage kids because you already know what I think about kids. Besides, she turned me into a newt.

Anstey -

15 year olds are soo... like this. Only usually they can't write. This doesn't seem to suck at all.

Callooh -

you got better, now stop being such a baby...

"and await the slop and slaugher" maybe? have to run it by the boss...

Callooh -

not sucking, like, that's sooo yesterday - omg!

Leanne -

I like slop. Yum.

Hello boss. Write more. Your mum can't have all the glory.