Words

Underneath the words that slice
Hidden deep from view
Beneath the flesh and bones that break
Words pierce, like a tattoo

When the words have found a lair
A hollowed home to dwell
Wounds of scorn crust into shame
Inside their prison cell

When the words are all used up
There's nothings more to say
Pierced into the psyche
Etched in stone they'll stay

1- Anstey on May 8 2008

I don't know why, but I read this and thought you should turn it into a Rondeau.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rondeau_%28poetry%29

2- Jen on May 8 2008

I revised this. I thought it needed more....maybe it still does.

Stephan, I had to look up what "Rondeau" means:)

3- Rws on June 25 2008

These words cut and slice with precise skill. My only nit might be the use of a comma after 'pierce,' but the rest is very nice.

Bill

4- Anstey on June 25 2008

Bill's right about the comma it needs to go, I think.

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Jennifer Ragan: on May 6 2008
from Camillus, New York
Famous children's author....just nobody knows it yet

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Monkeys: There are no monkeys here. If you're looking for monkeys, go away. Well, actually there are monkeys, but they're of the hairless variety that writes poetry and such. If that's not what you're looking for move along.

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