Second Hand

First crit: I don't like using your first line for the title. It's a nice first line and i think having it as the title diminished it a bit.

Second Crit: the line breaks don't do much for me. I think it'd read better without them. I tried reading it aloud with them to no avail.

Third crit: the tranistion between the last two stanzas doesn't work for me at all. I can't find the logical leap. Not that I believe you always have to have one, but the rest of the poem works in an orderly linear sort of way and then suddenly .. it doesn't. And I found that difficult to understand. I think if you can some how tie those two together, it'll feel much more complete.