Shiver - Shakespeare's Monkeys

shiver

Spirit
on winter wind,
guide me to the summer
snowflake by snowflake. This is me:

A frozen pond cradling drifts, protecting

the fish idly swimming beneath.
My path unclear. I watch
and wait for the
Spirit.

Leanne -

If you tell me this sucks ever again, so help me I'm going to smack you so hard your eyes will fall out.

This is a superb use of the form. Get over yourself, Anstey, you wally.

Anstey -
Ever is a long time.

Colleen -

very creative! I like the way this looks and reads!

Emeya -

Something to admit: I have a hard time commenting on your work. I mean to, but then I read it and it doesn't really need my words to it, though I suppose that beats the purpose of being able to comment.

Anyway, breaking that: I think this is excellent. I love what you did with the formatting (shouldn't be a surprise that I should say that) and enhances very naturally. It's provocative in content as well. Nicely done. Loved the precision.

~Emeya

Starla -

i think its excellent, beautiful flow, great form... HOWEVER I know you hate compliments so I will tell you that I sleep with monkeys

so there

wham bam thank you mam

Rene' -

I really love the format! It really makes the poem stand out visually and emotionally..

----- I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

Jen -

I like the images you created, especially the fish swimming beneath the frozen pond.