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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Poetry

maple

maple

dry summer
and deep-root
fall.
my story this year.

squirrel punctuated
and one wind-storm
lost limb.

leaves pile up,
shed-skin soft.
crimson
against bark and ground.

October moves around me.

Alcuin of York - on Feb. 27 2008

This is nice: Succinct, evocative, economical; good images, fairly intense. Metaphorically, it's not particularly rich, but it suffers little for it.

I would make 2 suggestions: First "soft shed-skin" and place no punctuation at the line end. Second, I see that the indents aren't working for you. When this happens to me, I put in a series of periods, and then make the font color for them white.

As a personal note, October does not move around me; it moves through me. Probably a theme for one of my future writes.

Alcuin


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