I will speak my life (revision with deepest thanks to Kat)

I will speak my life (revision with deepest thanks to Kat)

I will speak my life

I will speak my life
across your hands
so you can feel

the fog coming at night
in the hills
of San Luis Obispo,

the cable cars
turning at Third and Howard,
moving to Chinatown,

Muir Woods
on the way to Mendocino,
on the way north.

I will speak in verse
of rivers
in the Yukon,

of bear and moose,
of tundra
yellow as gold.

and I will pour
northern lights
around your face,

electric halo
softening the years
in your eyes.

Kat -
bravo!......btw, we're all on this site to help each other.....and I've received lots of help here myself.....but I do think ending the poem at this point is much more poetic.....Kat

Anstey -
Fantastic.

Aphasic -
I wish there was some way of displaying the original poem, and being able to compare it with the evolved version - would that be instructive? (In relation to the site - for 'published' material generally.)

Norm -
The original is on my recent page posts.

Aphasic -
Yeh - sorry Norm, I should have posted this as a discussion thread. I know your original is still there, though it would be interesting to be able to view them 'side-by-side'; and there are many people, like me, who tend to edit/update the original, rather than submitting the modified poem as a 'new' post. It would also be useful to see the comments which may have inspired a subsequent edit in the context of both original and updated versions. I guess anyone using a browser with multiple tab capability could approximate simultaneous viewing by switching between tabs, although that can lead to problems regarding login status with some browsers in some circumstances.

Anstey -
Actually, you can look at the history of a page, by clicking 'history' and see all the revisions.

Aphasic -
Oh right - thanks Anstey. I'm obviously not as wide-eyed as I'd like to imagine :> So, to the 'history' link...

Anstey -
Thanks Laura for letting me know the error of my ways. Apparently only the owner and associates can see history of a given page. :( So, Norm can see his history, but you can't. Sorry about that.