Don't mention the haiku...

I did once, and my nipples exploded - otherwise I think I'd have gotten away with it.
Q How many poets does it take not to write a haiku?
A How long is a piece of cake?

The perfect haiku: should read the same backwards as forwards, each line should be interchangeable; it should comprise either 17 or 71 syllables & 575 characters (more on this at a later date).

Resolving the unresolved...
Q How many light bulbs does it take to change a poet?
A Who gives a shit? [cos i've got an idea...]

but soft, what fibre
from yawned orifice falls
five leaves left, unsoiled

The term 'haiku' should be applied as both singular and plural, like 'sheep', and [according to the BBC] 'phenomena'.

[I need] more haiku, less sleep...
All men are poets;
all poets are gay;
therefore - all men are gay.
Is that a valid syllogism, or should I vacate the premises and read Kant for my sins?