The Day that Momma Broke

today just put me over the top as far as how much stress I can handle at one time...

Alarm buzz jerks

my eyes open at 5 a.m., crawling

slowly from the warm

covers I hurry to light

the heater. Warm waves float

towards the ceiling to bounce

off the blades of the fan,

returning to the floor

and warm my cold feet.

Skipping out to the running truck

at 7:30, ready to start

the day, I discover water

pouring onto the floorboard

of the passenger side.

Heater core busted!

Vibrations start in the center

of my being, rattling

my veins like turbulent

quakes that snake to the surface,

showing themselves

as unutterable words while

sobs shake my vocal cords

to the point beyond

recognition.

I want to break things

I want to crawl in a black hole

I want to scream profanities

I want to give up the fight

I want

someone

to tell me

it will be

alright,

don’t

cry.

Tracey -

(Damn it! I just wrote a long response and somehow hit the wrong button. AARGH! This bad day stuff can be catchy!)

OK, first off: If this was really how you started your day, I'm sorry it was so lousy and I'm glad you are writing it OUT!

Great title, extremely enticing.

The first stanza to strike me is the one about the vibrations. That kind of stress/anger/frustration is real and scary and all-encompassing. Your portrait of same is spot on.

"I want to break things" is a fabulous line. The other three wants seem more passive, more of what's accepted and even expected from women. But breaking things? THAT's verbotten. So that's the line that really gets me.

The last two stanzas, stark as they are, reflect the feelings of being small and alone.

Hugs to you, Ms. Rene.

Rene' -

Thank you Tracey, I needed the hugs for sure. It is really the way my day started off and to top it off, this is the truck that I bought for a back up. My full size truck has been down for two weeks over a very small, very inexpensive aluminun pipe about three inches long. Every time they fix one thing, the inadvertantly break something else!! I am always the one that they all lean on, I am the rock, and this time I do believe that I have reached my stress level danger zone!!

My son came and bypassed the heater core so that the truck can now be driven but I have no heater in it. Not a real big deal down here but just a little irritating is all. I made it to class only 5 minutes late and aced my quiz!

----- LIFE: I messed up, can I have a 'do over'?

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!