Hollywood's Fast and Furious

draft

alas, for those dear ballpoint pens
that drool the black of elseone's hearts
unsputtered onto weary back
of pulp and glue

the dream of voice of life not theirs
as puppets strung and dragged along
thoughtless whispered scratch of words
on blue-lined edge

a puff of perfect poetry
a nick of novel nursed idea
unowned, unmentioned, unknown until

dried out
they are
the latest
trash

Tracey -

I lived with this all day because I like different takes on writing and this one is unique. I think if you edit this a notch or two you'll have it where you want it, mostly because I was so confused for so many hours regarding s1; it took me too long to figure out that the the "elseone" was the WRITER him/herself and that it wasn't a pen belonging to ANOTHER writer.

I can't reconcile "drool" with "unsputtered."

I'm wondering if there should be some kind of transition between the "nursed idea" and the "unknown" thoughts here. Just a bit of something more saying how so much flows through them (in more original Anstey-esque words) yet they remain unowned, etc.

Anstey -
Thanks. I defintely spent too much time with the iambs on this. I need to not look at it for a day or so. It was most of yesterday and this morning farsnikin' around with it. the elseone is definitely something i pondered if it made enough sense. The entire idea was one of a statement about actors and comparing them to ballpoint pens. that whole idea of an actor as a brainless puppet. Spewing the lines. I don't think the title did enough to get that across. I was relying too much on the title to convey the actor part.

Tracey -

I didn't get the actor connection, but I very much like the puppet imagery. As for the title, I just figure the pens belonged to much more prolific writers than me!