And now for sonnet completely different (my father was a hamster and nailed to a perch)

and now for sonnet completely different (my father was a hamster and nailed to a perch)

for Leanne, who really understands my love of form poetry....

Oh damn! I scram, eat ham, spread jam, but Am
Incredibly not deep in love with Spam.
Nor can I abide a sorry sonnet;
Rather would I suck a festered garget
Then expel iambic shoe deform'ed,
My tongue fen-suck'd to a verse airiform'd.
Cinquain, senyru, haiku - will do, strained brain
Arcane, insane - I shall feign a migraine,
Eat a tub of rotted lousy daglocks,
Or have a flounder damp flog my buttocks;
Instead, may I up fill my toque with puke,
Then spew a couplet of gobbledygook?
I could pretend I meant not to offend,
And love the form, but tis too late - The End.

ed. note: dagdock :
dung encrusted sheep wool
guess where you find it??

Rene' -

OMG, I am still laughing my ass off as I try to type this comment! So damn funny! Well done, touche and all that....

----- could someone turn the world back over, I'm getting dizzy!

I am orbiting, I don't know where, but I am orbiting something!

Anstey -
This is wrong on my levels, but right on that level where i giggle, shake my head and ponder the nature of canadians.

Callooh -

Rene':

sonnets are inherently evil.... people like Shakespeare and Leanne that will try to convince you otherwise....

beware of them.

Callooh -

Anstey:

you have issues with flounder floggings? it's a great Canadian pastime.

Anstey -
Canada seems like it should be Canadia

Callooh -

that sounds contagious...

----- Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm

Anstey -
"Holy crap man, you have canadians all over your leg.. you should get that looked at by a professional"

Pags -

I had problems getting past the nailing off a rodent to a fish... I hadn't realised the site allowed Canadians in too. It explains a lot.

A truly fun as well as funny sonnet

Leanne -

I think you're mean to scoff, for such a form
As this deserves a subject so sublime
As raises it above the middling norm
And makes it live beyond the realm of time
That's why I write in sonnets -- I have dreams
Of raising armies, pen in hand, to fight
The tyrrany of ignorance, with screams
Of "Out damned spot!" and "Ow, me baldric's tight".
You rodent mutilators, you ignore
The subtleties of rhyme (the flounder knows)
So once more drop your breeches, friends, once more
And let us Puck 'til all the rancour goes
For all our yesterdays have lighted farts
To fester in the pockets of our hearts.

Callooh -

Pags:

no rodents were harmed in the making of this sonnet...

however a canadian received a most enjoyable molesting

Callooh -

canadians all over your leg?? you lucky bastard.....

----- Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm

Callooh -

Leanne:

mock me in sonnets.... tis not possible to sink any lower

(I feel a limerick coming on)