How To Speak Like A Soldier... Again!

Yep, you guessed it! Straight from my mouth to this blog page are the subtle intracacies of the Army Lingo! So, hopefully, the next time you encounter a soldier, your mouth won't drop, making you look like a buffoon!

 Here's how to speak like a soldier... again.

Rat-Fuck (v) - to rat-fuck, to going through some package or goodies, and take only what you want, leaving the rest for some poor sucker. ex. PVT so-n-so just rat-fucked all the MRE's for some Skittles!. This one has been in use probably since C-rations...

Donkey Dick (n) - Not an enderment of manliness size, but instead, a fuel spout. Put it into a gas can and you can add fuel without spilling gas all over the place. Some poor civilian found this one out the hard way one night when I asked him "Do you have a Donkey Dick?". Lord knows who invented it, but you can imagine the implications.

F.T.A. (acronym) - Fuck The Army. You see this everywhere. Especially on porterjohn walls. Probably older than sin.

Bathroom Wall Blog (pron) - A porterjohn wall. In all such Army stalls, idiots have been writing stupid phrases, pictures of woemn, Chuck Norris jokes, how they hate everything, and the discription of their penis size, since porterjohns were invented. The term Bathroom Wall Blog is rather new, though...

Sham (v) - to sham; to get out of details, work, and anything required out of you.

90-mph Tape (pron) - Otherwise known as Duct Tape. This has been around for ages.

Jody (adj) - Jody is the guy who is with your girl at home while you are away. Jody is just that good. We all hate Jody.

30 Best Friends (pron) - A loaded magazine for an M-16/M-4, carries up to 30 rounds.

Ballistic Breach (adv) - to break into something with force. Doors, women's panties, hard-to-open containers. A 1SG invented this one, and says it every Friday, "Men, don't go performing ballistic breaches on liquor store doors or (a particular city)'s whores.

Dizzle (adj) - Can be applied to anything that you pretty much want. Like saying, "where's my shit?", dizzle = shit.

Iraqi Pothole (pron) - Yep, you guessed it, a crater hole. Made by IED's place on (or in) concrete. Probably invented in OIF I.

Furious Angels (adj) - Helicopters, mostly Apaches are known by this nickname. This name came up by (you guessed it) Army Air.

Roadkill (pron) - The Infantry! Poor dismounted bastards...

Iraqi Security Alarm System (adj) - Dogs. Dogs infest Iraq, loose running and not really owned to anyone. At nighttime they're always a pain because, of course, dogs see and smell better than us, and they're loud as hell.