Crunch Time

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-- Caelanwolf - griffey chriss - Shakespeare's Monkeys

The best advice I can give to people who ask me how to "survive" deployment from home is simple. I tell them to just stay as busy as you can - get a hobby, go to school, get a job, a second job, volunteer, etc. Some days this is harder than it seems. Some days going for a walk in the park to clear your head just makes you cry into the forest, or doing whatever hobby it is you've picked up, or doing anything at all just reminds you of how lonely you really are. But for the most part this trick works out rather well.

When my husband and I were going through our first deployment, we weren't married, we were a sort-of couple - at the very least we weren't "with" anyone else romantically and steadily for the last 5 months of the twelve, and were growing-closer friends for the first 7 months. In any case, I was working an average of 65 hours every week and going to school 9 hours/week. I also volunteered at a large animal sanctuary an hour from where I lived. Sleep? I'm not sure I got much, especially considering those hours where I should have been sleeping were spent usually on the phone with Jerrad. Granted there were many nights I fell asleep to the sound of his voice, and woke up now and again to mumble at him - but knowing he didn't mind made that easy haha. 

This time around, so far I have not been able to keep myself busy enough. And it's been hell! I have inquired at several places about volunteering, but have gotten no responses, and am only working about 15 hours a week (job market sucks for my field this time of year!) School doesn't start until January, and I've been out here since mid-September. I've grown further and further into this defeated self I've created, and am desperately trying to climb back out of it. I dislike living that way. Am appauled at myself for having fallen into this kind of pattern.

I just have to hold it together until January. Come January my schedule will be much more hectic, which makes the days pass by even quicker. 15 hours of school/week, 15 hours of work a week (minimum). At least 10 hours/week studying. I'm also helping get a new animal shelter off the ground, which is possibly one of the most exciting things to happen to me thus far.

But anyway, really I'm just rambling because once again I can't sleep.

I can't wait to be too busy to eatsleepthink again! I feel most alive when my life is that kind of busy.