How To Speak Like A Soldier

You're walking down the street, and you see a young man, with practically no hair save for some fuzz on the top, athletic build, and crude by nature. He swears, he drinks, he womanizes, and he has no taste or refinement whatsoever. Chances are, you just ran into one of the many people serving in the United States Armed Forces.

Soliers have thier own language. Even today, there are words that soldiers invented in WW 2, WW 1, and even the Civil War, in circulation in the English Language. Today is no different. There are many slang terms that a soldier uses, and none will appear in a Webster's Dictionary. Here's how to speak like a soldier.

Gank (v) to gank - To aquire, requisition, borrow, steal, or take something without anyone being the wiser. ex I need you to gank me some gas. An ode to OEF I, Task Force Afgan.

Lickie-Chewies (pron) - Snacks, be it drinks, candy, munchies, or other assorted goodies. See Poggie Bait. Credit goes to a SFC whose belly spoke about much knowledge on the subject of lickie-chewies.

Drop My Kids Off In [location] (adv) - A less-than-endering phrase, this has a wide variety of uses. The phrase itself refers to a man blowing his load (kids = sperm). Thank 3rdID for this brilliant tactful way of telling someone to shut the hell up.

Poggie Bait (pron) - Poggie bait is referred to anything that you would bring that you would want to have, especially in less-than-enjoyable situations. Drinks, food, digital music players, portable gaming devices, cell phones, etc, are all poggie bait. See P.O.G., and Fobbit. This one's been around for a while, at least since the early 90's.

Kentucky Long Rifle (adj) - An M-16. Since most everyone has M-4's nowadays, the now 43 year old rifle looks as ancient as an M-1 Garand. AKA the Black Beauty, the Rhythm Stick, and strangely enough, the Rubber Ducky. See Rubber Ducky. A recent term, probably from some Tanker or Scout, since their Basic/AIT phaze is in the great state of Kentucky

Femarine (adj) - A female in the United States Marine Corp.

America's Favorite Comedy Group (adj) - The United States Marine Corp. (Thanks to an old Ssgt from the Marines for these last two!)

Rubber Ducky (pron) - A fake weapon, meant for training purposes. They are suppose to weigh about the same as its real deal. As the name suggests, it is mostly made of vulcanized rubber. (A Drill Sergeant out of Benning gets this one, mid-80's. They also give Rubber Duckies to those they don't trust with real weapons)

Barrel Punch (adv) - A forward strike with a weapon's barrel, usually with an M-4. This term came up when somebody caught a teethful of M-4 barrel. Supposedly, this came from the Marines as well, but I've recently learned it came from the Air Force.

Space Ants (pron) - Higher supervisors, usually in reference to officers. Lord knows where this one came up, but it's funny as hell.

9-Iron (n) - A 9mm of any make or model. Came to in OIF I with the plithora of pistol models now issued.

Uncle Sam's Misguided Childern (acronym) - You guessed it! The USMC. This one's older than dirt. My dad probably knows it from his time in service during Vietnam.

Ker-fucked (adv) - Something just went terribly wrong. A modern FUBAR.

My New Best Friend (adj) - A newbie, or an FNG (fuckin' new guy), it is often the new guy who gets the details, the worst shifts, and the crappy jobs. The term is recent, the description is not.

Fugly (pron) - Fat and Ugly, this tasteful conglomerate exists due to a small town near Fort Drum, NY. This discription can be labeled to many of the women living there. (location disclosed do to the fact that the author of this, too, lives there.) AKA Water Buffalos, and Massive Marthas. This one's probably been around since Drum opened in the 80's.

NeerBeer (pron) - Non-Alcoholic Beer (what a oxymoron...). This term came up in OIF II, courtesy of the 1st AD, when they started allowing beer for consumption, if only less than 0.5% alcohol. (Alcohol, well, real alcohol, will get you in deep shit)

John Wayne Paper (adj) - A type of toilet paper that's tough, rough, and don't take shit from nobody. This one's probably been around since the Duke himself.

Chuck Norris Jokes (humor) - Since 1997, over 4,000 Chuck Norris jokes have been conjured, told, made up, and just plained exchanged. Anything from strength, beard size, manliness, endowments, and other bizarre non-facts, Chuck Norris has a legion of jokes and myths about him, invented by two Specialists on CQ duty one night.

Tea-bag (adv) - A nasty prank. The orginal is to drop your testicles on someone's forehead, often without them knowing it. It probably came form a pornography, a staple of military life. This one's rather new.

P.O.G. (pron) - Personnel Other than Grunt. In the infantry's mind, that's everyone but them. Usually describes all non-combat jobs. Pronounced pouge. This one probably got invented when George Washington needed a clerk.

Fobbit (adv) - another non-endering description of a soldier whose job keeps them from doing missions, or otherwise fears or chooses not to go outside the wire, thus staying on the FOB. I'm sure whoever had the two braincells required to come up with this had just watched the Lord Of The Rings

Gag Reflex (adv) - Another polite term saying someone is a asskisser. ex Don't try too hard, you might set off your gag reflex! (thanks to a PFC with a bad habit of getting his foot caught in his mouth!)