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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Words, paradoxes, metaphors...you name it they all come alive in poetry or prose.

Kandy Kisses

inspired by a peppermint candy cane (but I don't like peppermint!)

Blueberry candy cane kisses

leave sticky aquamarine imprints

swirling around my

sugared memory

 

You always taste like candy

                                    to me

 

Strawberry flavored lips

ooze lascivious red syrup

trailing down my

uptilted chin

 

And again I say you

always taste

               like candy

to me

 

After awhile

I began to realize that you

were like a cavity black

hollowed out nerve on end stabbing needs to be

                                   removed

tooth to me

 

You really were

                 always like candy

to me.
 

Alcuin of York - on Sep. 13 2007

Funny! I like the ironic end twist.

You might consider changing the "taste" to "tasted". It keeps the tense more logically consistent, and I don't think it hurts the end surprise a bit. Also, I suggest changing one line to dashes: "hollowed-out-nerve-on-end-stabbing- needs-to-be"

I'm not sure how well the indentations work, but overall, the poem was interesting and amusing, but also true to life.

Alcuin


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