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Shakespeare's Monkeys

Infinite Monkeys. Infinite Typewriters.

More in Only In The Eyes of the Beholder

Tears

Based on the Photograph "Tears" by Man Ray

Crystalline orbs of perfection
Adorn her perfect complected skin
Clinical and pure deception
Shines through
Delineating
a soulless
Heartless
Analytical
Quasi Angelic air
Decorating a perfect
Aquiline nose
With twin
Erstwhile eyes
Blessed with an Arctic cold
Piercing Unsuspecting hearts
With Stalagmite spears
Of pure malice

 

1- Anstey on Aug. 23 2007

First of all, I can't quite decide if this works for me or not. I Haven't seen the picture, which I think is probably good. I am looking only at the words, the shape as you laid it out, and trying to devine your intent from that.

All of the language seems high-brow, and to some degree unemotional, clinincal in fact, in direct contrast with the meaning of the words. Its a contrast that I think adds a layer of victorian passion which i do like.

I also like the alternating use of glotal, velar and bilabials. It actually makes my mouth feel like it's getting a message as I read it.

I think Quasi-angelic is hyphenated.

 


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  • stephan

3- Magsie on Aug. 24 2007

Yeah, I don't think this one works for me. I think the form is clever and I see what you're going for, but it's mostly wordy adjectives. I guess it'd take a more solid foundation in a couple different nouns before it'd appeal to me. Maybe the various features. Not sure.
Zealy, Kee - being an ex auditor and DBA any other names are unprintable

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on Aug. 23 2007

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