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Shakespeare's Monkeys

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Loss - A villanelle

My very first attempt at a Villanelle. Also an attempt to recreate my last poem - "Loss." I thought this would be a great form for what that poem was trying to say.
 

The cowboy's eyes are deep like sunken ships;
He tries to keep His breath a steady rate;
As Loss exhales Himself through drunken lips.

His hands hold faith to sleep and often slip;
Insomnia is rampant as of late;
The cowboy's eyes are deep like sunken ships.

A young life falls through Earth into his grip;
So great she is, for Loss is all she hates;
While He exhales her life through drunken lips.

He finds too many souls on which to trip;
The Cowboy's palms were turned to black by fate.
The cowboy's eyes were filled with sunken ships.

This boat he'll sail to Hell, and let it tip;
To ease His death, His conscience he'll sedate,
as He exhales his fate through drunken lips.

With every fortune at his fingertips--
A million more he'll fail to push away.
The Cowboy's eyes, alone, are sunken ships,
and Loss exhales his sins through drunken lips.

Shan - on Aug. 10 2007

I think the poem works well in this form, although "The cowboy's" repeatedly did get cumberson reading outloud.

 

 


-----
Life is what happens while you wait for great things.


Life is what happens while you wait for great things.
Rene' - on Jan. 7 2008

The poem works very nicely as a villanelle! I have never seen the play on the repeating lines before but you pulled it off with grace. I love the villanelle, it has a softness with its repeating lines. 

----- oops, I think I must have made a wrong turn...




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