Religious Experience

Lucid silence with explicit connotations
In the aftermath of one of our more personal relations
And the hour slips to the back of the moon
Hung on the crescent; a sign swings "Be back soon"

And life rolls forward without further hesitations
After the brief stop to accommodate our revelations
God only knows where all our clothes are strewn
As he whistles an oddly soothing off key little tune

A brief respite from our ever pressing complications
For a midnight snack without needing reservations
From the middle of the messy sheets where we spoon
I sigh a little sigh, snuggle closer and grin like a goon

1- Alcuin of York on Jul. 28 2007

The rhythm and meter are not consistent, but if you did not intend them to be, that's OK. There is a class of poetry called "free-verse rhyme". I wrote a poem in quatrains, like this, with an ABAB rhyme pattern, repeating the same rhyme sounds between stanzas, as you've done here. The main reason, I suppose, was because a) I could; and b) because I'd never done it before. Frankly, what I learned is that it tends to be boring because of the repetitive sounds (mine was 5-stanzas long). Oh well! In any case, I'm glad I did it because I learned something.

The best part of this is the "back of the moon" line & the following line. The first line was also interesting and well-stated. Some of the lines strain for their rhymes. Also, "spoon" is a bit outdated. And I think it's safe to assume the "he" whistling wasn't God, but your boyfriend - unless, of course, you think of him as God during sex.

Overall, this had charm. It just seemed a bit awkward in places.

Alcuin